It's nearly a month!

Just one more week to go and then it is a month. then there will only be like 10 weeks left it is amazing. I have completely been thinking about the ego states I have been sat in this week and it has been a mixture of rebellious child and adult.

From holding a bit of pepper to my mouth thinking about eating it to having a tantrum at the kebab incident. Talking myself round into the here and now of adult living. But it won't make me feel any better to eat it, and it will still be there to eat when you finish the diet if I want it.

Let me out... you fat cow!

That's it! I have had enough of the inner demons that keep telling me I want to eat crap. Everytime I hear her, I change the voice I am hearing to 'Thinnies' voice instead. She is shouting... let me out you fat cow! She has been stuck in there for so long and is literally bursting to come out now!

I love Mondays I really look forward to them and I feel normal suddenly after the mental weekend of past!

So here's to stopping being a bloody big baby and just getting on with things. And as Nike say...

Just Do It!

Boooooooo Sunday Sucks

Hated today.

Went shopping with everyone and they all went out for oriental food, so I carried on looking round the shops. But I was hungry and the big M was shining it's golden M at me blatantly teasing me. But I kept walking. GRRR

I keep thinking I want real food green food mostly, even fish a little bit and I don't even like it.

I know I am doing well and that it will be worth it in the end I am just going crazy right now.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

There's a Thinny inside me trying to break free!!

Oh no two days off in a row!! Yikes!!

Well hopefully I will be ok, I have enjoyed this week much more already it's so much easier when you have got food you like. I saved my bar that tastes like snickers for tomorrow, I hope it helps when I start feeling blue.

I have been eating my foodpack at lunch and then working hard trying to sort out the void at work. It's looking good.

I'd like to loose 6lb's this week... fingers crossed.

Burn Baby Burn!

Hmm thought today was going ok had lemon bar for breakfast lasted ages as chewing is so foreign!

Drank loads today and feel bloated of all things! still got really cold hands too. I tried adding the orange powder to my choccie milkshake but it wasn't great in truth. wont be doing that again!

Feel funny inside this evening was going to do my homework but have started to feel a bit blue, so I am off out for a walk, I think I am going to go to my mums. I don't want to go out as it is cold and slippy, but I need to go for a walk!

Shellx

House smells of death potion, possibly chicken flavoured I think so it is definitely time to escape for a bit.

And we shall rename today Awesomeday 12th January

Today has been a good good day, I have been buzzing off my first weeks success and I have spent all day looking forward to my treat of having a bar for tea... yay something to chew!

I am a bit tired today, it was a really busy day at work, but the positive thing is that I haven't thought about food even half as much as I was thinking about it over the weekend.

I have instead been occupying my time thinking about my goal setting homework exercise that I have been set... what do I want to achieve and by when. I love things being SMART so you can imagine how excited I got when I saw in the homework book that the goals have to be SMART :O)

I really enjoyed all my meals today and I finished the day with a mint hot chocolate... I am such a lucky girl!

Love the beau as well, he ate his tea before I got home from work. He is a star! x

Had cold hands this evening and a funny twitching thing going on with my bottom lip, but after I had some water the twitching went away. Still my fingers are cold and that is a small price to pay for all that fat we are burning!

Hoping I feel this good again tomorrow and for the rest of the week!

Shell x x

End of week one...

What a week!!!

It has literally been a rollercoaster ride. Happiness and tears.

I started on Tuesday 5th and at mid week weigh in I had lost 7lbs, which I was really pleased about.

Throughout the week I had so many cravings mental hunger, I haven't actually felt hungry once just the different thoughts of food and smelling food that makes me think I want it. I am learning that I don't need it though.

I hated some of my meals they made me physically gag and I really struggled to cope the past couple of days, it is harder being off work so no more days off for me!

Thank god I have got good friends to spur me on and to support me.

In my dream I cheated, when I woke up I felt really awful until I realised it was just a dream.

I thought about cheating today when I saw something I wanted in the fridge whilst putting chris's milk away but I told myself its a waste of money and effectively if I cheated I would just be torturing myself forcing myself to go back through my week one again.

So anyway the news of the week is that this week I have lost 16lbs.

16lbs= 7.5 kilos= 1 stone 2lbs

Hurrah it's worth it and that is enough motivation to get me through the week!

Shell x x

My Big Fat Diary 2010 - In 3D

Today as you can see is the 2nd January 2010.

This time last year I made a New Years Resolution and I started my kitchen blog, where I wrote about different foods I was cooking and it was lovely, but I started to develop allergies to MSG and certain E numbers which started to make cooking more stressful than it should be.

This year my new years resolution is to lose weight. Every year that is my New Years Resolution but this year is different. I am actually doing something about it.

On Monday 4th January I am starting on the Lighter Life diet and I am very excited about it, I know it wont be easy, but the fast results I am sure will become addictive to me and all will be well.

I am going to be writing this thing for myself to look back on when I have reached my goals and hopefully to help a few others reach theirs.

There will be horrible photos ( the one at the top was taken in Summer 2009 in Scotland) I am sure and days where I am grumpy because I think I need Chocolate or something but I am hoping there will be lots of laughs and brilliant results!

I took my first step yesterday and I bought a lovely new pair of running shoes and after the initial two weeks I am going to start going for a run every 3 days. I am going to do sit ups as well and go swimming twice a week with Christophe and I will let you know how this little torture pans out!

I haven't really set any goals yet as I don't want to hit disappointment but I will see how things start off and work things out as I go along.

Right I am off to get the tape measure to take some measurements so I can start drawing up the graphs :O)

Watch this Space...

Shell x x