Had a really great day today finished work early so I didn't have to do the full 8 days in a row and it ended up being just 7 1/2 days in a row! Wahoo
My sister picked me up from work and she had bought me a pair of new jeans in a size 18 long leg bootcut, when I held them up to myself I was thinking they're not going to fit, they look too small (crooked thinking!) and I went to try them on and they fit they do up nicely and feel like amazing, compared to the trouser tents I have been wearing the past 4 weeks!
So that was nice, coped while she cooked dinner and even helped peel carrots and things.
Chris came home said my jeans look good, but then he started cooking his tea. It was stew and it smelt so nice and when he brought it in to eat it in front of the telly I just started to cry. I wanted some, I really, really wanted some the carrots looked amazing it smelt like it was trying to send me insane and yet I can't have it. I cried alot - over a stupid stew! Who woulda thought that leeks and carrots and peas and beans could be so upsetting, almost on the verge of heartbreaking!
I envy every person who has ever done and survived on this diet. And anyone who has ever given up smoking or drugs. If I had a hat, I would take it off.
Dreamt I was a chef in a top restaurant last night, I was skinny, under a lot of pressure and making the most amazing looking foods I have ever seen! That was fun for a bit. I especially liked the little chef outfit I was wearing the trousers were pink and white squares.
Got annoyed at my niece today as I told her to go and make herself a sandwich for her lunch, she is nearly 13 years old and she came in with none other than a bloody CRISP Sandwich... I was like... 'what the hell is that?!' I can't believe she thought she was getting that one by me! I made her go and boil some eggs and bin the crisps and have an egg sarnie instead... insanity.
I feel a bit like this diet is my whole life, I spend all my time thinking about it, how I am doing how much I need to lose this week to stay on track, how big my arse is, how I have no clothes. It has taken over my life, I know it is going to have to in some respects in order to change everything, but it seems crazy, I can't string a sentence together without dieting blowing its way in!
Anyway big fat diary, I thought I would share with you that... fat is a big deal.
If I am not worrying about being fat, what will I worry about?
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