On Monday we got our 'before' photos handed out, the ones we had taken on day zero of the diet at the very first meeting!
Bugger me, I was fat, I knew I was fat, but I can honestly say, hand on heart I had not realised that I was that big. And that scares the shit out of me!
This diet is far from the easiest diet in the world. I keep hearing people say oh 'that is so easy.' It is nothing to do with the calorie intake... I can cope with that! It is the tricks you play on yourself, the things you learn along the way, the things you have to deal with, that you didn't even realise were a problem to start with. I am learning a lot about myself that maybe I knew deep down already, but this has brought the realisation.
Sunshine yellow or not, I am worried about the after. I don't ever want to be like that again, I know people loved me regardless, I just didn't love me, and that is the most important thing of all. I can't let other people love me if I don't love myself. I want to join the gym so I can go with Chris and go to the classes with people too. but I can't afford to do that and LL, so after I will join and there will be much fun to have.
With lots of work left to do I am going to make an action plan. Plan further abstinence and RTM and plan activities that will assist me with my weight loss.
Bit from before...
I had the best weekend of my life and it involved work! I had the fantastic, lovely and very engaging and inspirational Children's author Jacqueline Wilson come for an event. There were over 350 people there and everything went as organised, to plan, bang on the money! I had such a great day, I was interviewed by BBC Radio 4, I had to do a little intro to begin with and a round up at the end. I felt great and people told me I look great and I was Uber focussed and at the end of the day I felt relieved that it went well, but I also felt amazing. I had run round like a loony all day no sitting, stopping, relaxing and I have not felt fitter or healthier in years and years.
Thanks body and mind for being strong enough to put of with the crap I have thrown at you over the years. I promise I am changing for the better xxx
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